10 Nov 2025 -- Monthly web update
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pipiru piru piru pipiru pii
pipiru piru piru pipiru pii
I know it's not really "monthly" because I didn't make a journal post for October, but I did update the web, so that counts.
I changed the look of my entire website (again) because sure what the hell why not. Also what the fuck is going on with the september update? I forgot I wrote all of that (it's not really a big deal, I forget everything all of the time)
WOW OK. Something new that happened these past 2 months. Actually is like three things:
- I watched Kevin Spencer :DD I watched the entire 8 seasons and I need more. I loved it. Unfortunately I dediced to watched it right when some weird ass fanart of Kevin Spencer went viral, so when I toldd my friends I was watching the show they were like "oh, it's that show from that weird fanart"...
But yeah, it's really good, I've done some fanart, I guess I'll put them in my art dump but when it comes to art I've being using twitter a lot. So if you are interested in my art (I doubt it) check out my twitter - I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!11!!!11! Going to class has given me a lot of anxiety for the last 5-6 years and latetly I started having an anxiety attack everytime I went to class (but more on that in the next point). So for mental health reasons I'm basically taking a leap year to go to therapy and get my shit together. I can finally say that I'm a NEET, so there's that
- I think I have agoraphobia lmao. Since I was 13 I've been struggling to go to class. It made me really really anxious to the point that I think it might have been traumatic. I know I'm always joking but I seriously cannot stress how much I've been struggling with anxiety (amongst other things) for a good chunk of my life. And recently I realized that it might actually be agoraphobia
It happens a lot but specially when I go to class: I'm deeply anxious and afraid becuase I feel like I'm trapped there, like I can't escape. I start thinking stuff like "if I had a panic attack right now, I wouldn't be able to get any help, I wouldn't be able to go back to my safe space" And that was basically the reason why I started struggling with my existence when I was around 13. Turns out, that's agoraphobia. I knew about agoraphobia, but I thought it meant something different, and when I googled it the other day I was like "Oh"
But this is GREAT news, because if I do have agoraphobia, I know it now and I can finally treat it
I lost the energy to write stuff, I don't know what else to say. Ok I'm going to finish this post by saying that gar fishes are awesome sauce, they are so peak and great fishes. I feel bad because this post doesn't have a proper conclusion after I infodumped about my mental health but then I remember that I finished the spetember post by reciting AM's hate monologue in I have no mouth and I must scream, but instead of being about hating humanity, I made it about gooning to femboys. So I guess it can't get worse than that
Vocal Stim of the Month: My love is as a fever longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease.
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